I don't remember what movie/tv show I'm pulling this from (7 months pregnant and the fog has settled), but the guy says [about fatherhood] "Think of every trite thing you've ever heard - they're all true".
...and damn, it is so true.
Wrapping your mind around being a parent is ongoing I think. It's been that way for me.
Smacks me in the forehead every couple weeks.
Challenges and delights me.
The amazing, amazing mystery-slash-science-slash-miracle that is the creation process of human life takes my mind for a spin each and every time I approach thinking about it.
Which is pretty often.
Pregnancy has me scouring the internet hungry for any and every documentary/ science film I can find that will clue me in on what in the WORLD is going on within the universe of my body right now.
Life teaches us a lot in a couple years - if we're open to it.
This round of baby-building, I find myself more aware - and sensitive - to the incredible privilege that the activity is.
Heart ache ensues instantly thinking of those for which and with which we've sobbed - for the short life of babies en utero and those whose lives were just too short, short, shortly lived.
Each moment is so wildly precious.
It's the tv-time granted, special (turned daily) treats, and giving in. The moments that trick me into feeling guilty. But they are precious.
The 6-berry smoothie scientifically poured over the upholstered chair that shouldn't have been there in the first place; setting up fort in the not-clean fireplace; microwaving my coffee back to drinkable again. The moments that make me want to scream. Precious.
Play-all-day-clean-the-kitchen-prep-dinner-make-dinner-clean-kitchen-again-pj/toothbrush-wrestle-4-book-bedtime-6-song-outro bedtime routine (all while pregnant); never-went-fully-to-sleep and up-at-six and ready to go! The moments that make me beyond exhausted... yes. Precious.
Oooh, the struggle for balance. The circling questions: am I working too much? Am I working enough? Is my kid getting enough of me? Too much of me? Is the house clean? Does it matter? Is the laundry done? Probably not. is my husband getting enough of me? My list goes on as I'm sure yours does too.
I hope this Mother's Day you find a quite microwave-minute to meditate on the joys, meanings, consequences and beyonds of motherhood.
Yes. Gosh, yes. It is a constant learning experience. A constant balance act.
But you know what? you are doing enough and you are doing an amazing job. There's no better mom for you babies than you.
But look at me - young mother for sure.
And I haven't even reached the thought-threshold of being mothered.
All my own mother has done over the years - even just the stuff I can relate to - never mind the 27+ years experience she has beyond me that I'll only one day be able to commiserate and celebrate along side her with.
But that is the truth and beauty of motherhood.
Give and give.
Enjoying and finding the beauty of giving.
The gift of selflessness (ever, ever growing).